20 questions:
1. Did u tell someone you were going to marry me
2. Did it cross your mind?
3. Have you done anal?
4. Ever been dumped?
5. How many one night stands?
6. Do u have a deepest secret
7. Have you ever prayed for something and it happened ?
8. Want to go in vacation?
9. With me?
10. Longest relationship?
11. Jealous much?
12. Love Jesus?
13. Do you have any regrets?
14.. Do you have a secret wish or desire?
15. What's your middle name ?
16. Your childhood dream?
17. Celebrity pass is who?
18. Hardest thing to live without?
19. Favorite ice cream?
20. Favorite thing about yourself

The mom who let go

In silent ripples I watched my children age I prepared to let them go way to soon
I fought enough and I wanted out long enough to be free- but that part of something dies in front of me. I no longer keep secrets- so what shores shall we explore- if I traveled the world I would come back to you. One night before all judgements fade.

monday afternoon

surprisingly to me there was no 4K today i found that out by getting the backpack ready and pulling out the hand full of papers. well good thing we had just gotten markers and play doh. Today was exciting because Caleb wrote his name on his own, it was the first time i have seen him do this at home. I made a bright yellow sun with blue water, with play doh, It was cheery.

finially i remembered my password

Trouble can come in many forms. For me trouble comes in my memory. It really baffles me, I have a great memory for little things, like peoples face; I never forget a face. I am just a miss that I could not log into this blog for about 3 weeks because I couldn't remember my password. Turns out the reminder email kept going into my spam box and I forgot to check that too......
So out of boredom and frustration today I decided I would just try some passwords, since I generally use the same few for all these different web things. Then I typed in something on a whim and that happened to be the "key" to get in to blogger. Trouble remembering these passwords is not new, but it is annoying.

a funny story

Okay so here goes. Sometimes it is good to laugh. Let it be clear that i am not saying that Alzheimer's or dementia are funny. It just so happened that a funny thing happened to me.
When I was about 23 i lived with my mom and grandfather. My grandfather was a gentle, quiet man, but as he got old he began to start doing some strange things around the house. He had dementia i know he was not trying to harm me, he just wasn't thinking clearly.
Our house had been built in the early 1950's, it was old. The shower in my bathroom was like a broom closet; small, dark, and fitted with a frosted glass door. As i was in there one day, my grandpa walked into the bathroom, i told him i was in the shower and to go away! but he said " i'm coming in" and he wasn't kidding, he was already in his towel. I held onto the tiny metal handle of this old door and i screamed "mom" "mom" "MOM" as loud as i ever have. Luckily she was close by and charged into the room. "DAD! what are you doing?" she said, shocked to see him there.
"I'm gettin in the shower" (obviously) he said plain as day. "Well Jenny's in there right now"
"I know I'm getting in with her!"
What!? Here I am holding this door shut, one hand on the top of the door and the other on this little handle. My mom was funny, she was like "No you are not getting in the shower with her!" She was getting mad, thanks mom.
Finally she was able to talk grandpa out of the bathroom, and I was out of that shower so fast!
I chuckle even thinking of this now, it was so bizarre. And the funniest thing of all was my grandpa hated to take showers! He would go a long time before my mom could convince him to get in. This is a story that makes me laugh now and I needed that.

my newest painting

this painting has been a long one to finish
i went about 4 weeks with out getting any work done, i had "painters block"
i guess all creative are vulnerable to this. remind you i have 2 days a week allotted to paint.
i didn't like where my painting was at one point and not being able to get it past there tripped me up. i have some feelings that there are unseen things at work here too, i can feel them pressing in on me. i got through it and have been painting again, i am getting closer to being done with this painting.
this is angel #4 in my series. i'm thinking of calling her "dawns hope" .

awake 3 a.m.

i couldn't sleep
too many thought on my mind
invigorated,
drained
restless energy spilling
finishing my list
thinking about it
some more